Baby #2! oh boy

So like the title says, oh boy! I’m pregnant, 8 weeks and 5 days, with baby #2. So far only one baby can be seen. I say that because I have heard so many stories where a lady is pregnant, goes in for ultrasound, and one baby shows up. THEN later down the pregnancy road, BAM! another one shows up on the ultrasound. I don’t think that’ll happen to me but you never know. Knock on wood. Phew.

Yeah, I’m happy about it, even if it was a surprise. Unfortunately, my happiness disappeared as quickly as it was created. Mainly due to my knowing that my fiance wouldn’t be happy and I was correct…for a bit. You see with my first pregnancy, he didn’t express positive feelings or even truly acknowledged it until early into the third trimester. He would be there with me when I went shopping for the baby stuff but he wasn’t really there, mentally. Which caused me some depression. I was happy throughout my whole pregnancy, for the most part. Due to him not accepting, not even acknowledging it, it caused some negative emotions towards my unborn child at the time.

Because of me being pregnant caused him unhappiness, for a few times I wished the pregnancy would disappear, wished for the baby to be gone. As soon as the thought came into my mind, it disappeared and guilt filled me up. I thought that if the pregnancy ended then we would go back to being happy. After the last time the thought came up, I decided if he doesn’t shape up or change his view after our daughter was born, he’s out. I was going to do the whole shabang. *not even sure if that’s how its spelled*. Even though he wasn’t happy about it, he was very caring though. Making sure I rest if I was tired, had food if I was hungry, took over some duties that I did, and etc. Fortunately, he did turned around and started to get excited for our daughter.

This time round, it happened again. He wasn’t happy. He even asked me to consider to abort or adoption. His unhappiness quickly infected my emotions. I started to think about the two options. But I wanted to keep the baby. Then all of my emotions came out. I told him how he left me to suffer alone during my first pregnancy, how he ruined the experience for me. But he came around. He’s actually happy about it. Yeah, he is still worried a little bit but that is due to his anxiety. He’s always making sure I am doing good. Always wants to touch my belly. I can tell he’s happy for this baby. He loves our daughter to death and now he has another one to love. I’m laughing as I type this because I knew his personality from before. Trust me, it’s a complete 360. We are excited for this new child. I even think it’s going to be a boy. It’s just a feeling. We’ll see in a few months.

Can’t wait to share this journey with you. Until next time lovelies!

New beginning!

As I am sitting here and typing this, I am not sure how I want my words to come out. Hopefully this post will have most of what I wanted to say. So here goes! So lately I have been not so happy with my weight. Even if I the type of person my friends think I am. The type where I won’t notice your looks until much much MUCH later. I pay more attention to your personality. But I am still human. There are times where I am upset of how I look. There are times where none of us can help but nick pick at the little things about ourselves. So we do what we can to fix and perfect the things. I do wish sometimes where I was more toned, not skinny, but more toned.

I do things, like a lot of people who want to lose weight, and try lots of techniques to lose the weight. I am not saying I’ve tried to starve myself because lord knows I would not last. I would rather eat any type of food than starve myself. There should never be a time in your life where you turn to starvation. I’m sorry but that is stupid! But at the same time, I have tried something’s people would consider starving myself but starving yourself means barely eating anything. I will admit I have done the “Military Diet” which is not so favorable with a lot people. Here’s thing, I did the actual original “Military Diet” and not the plan you see more often. The plan I did had more to eat. From that diet, I found a new desert. Half cantaloupe with 1/2-1 cup of vanilla ice cream. That is so good! 😋.

I will say this. You can lose weight just by eating healthier but you won’t get the results you would get from both eating right AND exercising. I have always known it’s not good to yo-yo diet but I have had dark times. Sometimes you just get so desperate, you’ll do anything. I am here to tell you it will get better. I promise. You will have a moment where you’ll realize you can do it and overcome the feelings of desperation. So recently I have started eating a lot healthier. I mean I actually already ate pretty good. For me it was portion control, skipping meals, and eating late. That’s where I had the problems. I have learned how to become better at those plus eating more healthier.

I recently bought a exercise guide. I discovered this creator from Instagram. I like that the exercises she has in her book do not require equipment. They are easy to do at home, I don’t have to do them at the gym. Also the fact that my little girl likes to join me during it. Kids really do follow by example. For some reason it is easier to follow the guide than the others. You should check her website out. alexajeanbrown   Her name is Alexa Jean Brown. Her ebooks are great! I have bought her “Sore to the Core” and “Butt and Leg” , both are 30-day challenges. I love it! I hope you guys give her a chance and try her ebooks.

I hope this encouraged someone to better their lifestyle. I can’t wait for you all to join me in the journey of reaching our goals. I hope you reach….actually scratch that….I know you can do it and wait for you to reach it.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Until next time Lovelies! 💋