So like the title says, oh boy! I’m pregnant, 8 weeks and 5 days, with baby #2. So far only one baby can be seen. I say that because I have heard so many stories where a lady is pregnant, goes in for ultrasound, and one baby shows up. THEN later down the pregnancy road, BAM! another one shows up on the ultrasound. I don’t think that’ll happen to me but you never know. Knock on wood. Phew.
Yeah, I’m happy about it, even if it was a surprise. Unfortunately, my happiness disappeared as quickly as it was created. Mainly due to my knowing that my fiance wouldn’t be happy and I was correct…for a bit. You see with my first pregnancy, he didn’t express positive feelings or even truly acknowledged it until early into the third trimester. He would be there with me when I went shopping for the baby stuff but he wasn’t really there, mentally. Which caused me some depression. I was happy throughout my whole pregnancy, for the most part. Due to him not accepting, not even acknowledging it, it caused some negative emotions towards my unborn child at the time.
Because of me being pregnant caused him unhappiness, for a few times I wished the pregnancy would disappear, wished for the baby to be gone. As soon as the thought came into my mind, it disappeared and guilt filled me up. I thought that if the pregnancy ended then we would go back to being happy. After the last time the thought came up, I decided if he doesn’t shape up or change his view after our daughter was born, he’s out. I was going to do the whole shabang. *not even sure if that’s how its spelled*. Even though he wasn’t happy about it, he was very caring though. Making sure I rest if I was tired, had food if I was hungry, took over some duties that I did, and etc. Fortunately, he did turned around and started to get excited for our daughter.
This time round, it happened again. He wasn’t happy. He even asked me to consider to abort or adoption. His unhappiness quickly infected my emotions. I started to think about the two options. But I wanted to keep the baby. Then all of my emotions came out. I told him how he left me to suffer alone during my first pregnancy, how he ruined the experience for me. But he came around. He’s actually happy about it. Yeah, he is still worried a little bit but that is due to his anxiety. He’s always making sure I am doing good. Always wants to touch my belly. I can tell he’s happy for this baby. He loves our daughter to death and now he has another one to love. I’m laughing as I type this because I knew his personality from before. Trust me, it’s a complete 360. We are excited for this new child. I even think it’s going to be a boy. It’s just a feeling. We’ll see in a few months.
Can’t wait to share this journey with you. Until next time lovelies!